NISHA GUPTA, PhD
I am a liberation psychologist and arts- based phenomenological researcher whose work focuses on sexual liberation. DESI EROS is an arts-based phenomenological research project about the lived experience of reclaiming erotic power among women from the South Asian diaspora. I collected six diasporic Desi women’s descriptions of reclaiming erotic power; all participants are published writers whose work explores sexual and gender empowerment. I engaged in a phenomenological data interpretation process of each woman’s narrative to unearth core thematic meanings of reclaiming erotic power within their story. Then, I expressed these thematic meanings as surrealist folk art, with South Asian cultural symbols embedded in each painting. The painting entailed a process of psychic decolonization, as I discovered new meanings about our indigenous cultures in the process of creating the artwork. The final artwork and poetry can be viewed at www.desieros.com, accompanied by essays that aim to liberate and decolonize the meanings of reclaiming erotic power for Desi women.
She
(Acrylics with Rhinestones and Bindis, 26” x 30”)
This piece was inspired by the poetic words of Shafina Ahmed:
I tell him this is what we women, little girls have to do–bear our burdens and sorrows with a silent smile because we’d look prettier if we would just smile like a good voiceless bride. I wonder why I am telling.
A voice inside me speaks up. It’s not about him, or them, it’s about us. The 5-year old She, the 10-year old She, the 26-year old She; all the Shes. I don’t have to be afraid of being She because I’m not alone, anymore.
Their voices will not be my story; will not be the lining of my womb, my Breast, my sexuality, my god. I don’t choose a Bengali narrative of women must suffer tremendously and not complain; I choose sex to be healing, my body a temple and a playground.
I am not a victim; I’m a survivor now, unconquerable. I break the cycle of violence by telling my story to myself